Certain things we can not escape........

 People who know me best consider me a great escapist; I try my best to escape the cares of this rugged world. I have had a life of trauma it seems like one thing after another always manages to go wrong in my life. Therefore, I tend to escape as fast as possible to my own little world of writing or jetting off in an airplane to some strange place. There is something however, that no matter how hard I try and close my eyes escapism is absolutely no help.  I'm speaking of the potential termination of my parental rights to my three beautiful children. I know what you're thinking "What on earth did you do?”

I'll give you nothing; it is just what seems to be impossible right now.  My children were never hit in fact they are quite spoiled and they love me dearly. They have never been touched Nor have I ever touched a drug. I'm not an alcoholic either you get the idea no addiction issues.  I never even seen a court room until "the state" drug me through this hell basically I have no criminal record either.

My ex-husband their father doesn't care what happens to them either way so I'm left to fight alone. The state says I'm not stable I'd had lost my job and my place on top of my little mental issue which I've never been hospitalized or caused an interaction with my daily life.  I'm not going to disclose it as it seems like I've shared already too much.
I have a short time to try to get new place and better income in so that I can try to win them back. It isn't likely because the foster parent lives a different life than my own simply she has lots more money and help than I do. The part that kills me the most is that everyone sees me breaking my back to get them back but no one cares.

You can't tell me that I'm the only mother out here who is struggling with problems, "Why don't they just take a semi to all the homeless shelters and take away all the poor babies?"  It's sad to deal with and all I feel is anger. They recently stopped my visits because the children are too emotional when I leave. They miss me simply just want to come home I would give up all the creativity and joys of life if I knew it was possible just to be with them again.  My brain wants to escape to a beautiful place with them filled with hills, a cottage, a beach and all that's good in the world.  This isn't possible reality is that they are miles from me wanting to come home and I look out the window wishing I could reach them.

A professional gave me the best advice she said try all that can for them to get them back to the bitter end, then if it doesn't work I would know I did all I could. I'm trying but nothing seems to be happening fast enough, the odds are in the foster mother's favor. She suddenly claims she wants to adopt them. It is like people have this idealism that children should all live in this pseudo life with a picket fence with two rich people in a Cul-De-Sac. All the falseness hidden within such a life is nothing without real love. You can call me old fashion but I believe in a nothing is stronger than a mother's love that carried the child for nine months. I'm trying my best to get them that "white picket life" but these things take time.

 My children wouldn't come home to that it would be a 3 bedroom townhouse somewhere trying to make it until mommy makes things better for them financially. I do know that with me they  may have it a "little rougher" but never starve or be hurt. They will be the most loved children in the world to me at least. My mind can already see the reality I will sit on my porch alone and look at all the other struggling mommies playing with their children.  My children will be far away getting trained on the Nazi rules of her house and buying them more objects trying to get them to forget me.

I hope they don't....

I guess better yet I wish for a tidal wave to change the judge’s heart on this upcoming April day.  It won't happen as a wise guy once told me "As long as you are smaller, poorer  and standing alone, you just don't beat the majority who have the resources to appear better."

 The thing that hurts the most is that people who are supposed to be "friends and family" seem to view me as person with no freaking purpose; just like the state workers do.  It is okay though I never needed to be validated by anyone as I'm a natural loner.  We have to get real there is a lot of money tied into taking children thousands of "bonuses" for the state  also refundable adoption credits for the foster parents.  I have no idea how I'm going to deal with the trial in a little over a month the final court date; I just know escapism isn't working.

Facebook Page review of Kazuo Ishiguro

Facebook Page review of Kazuo Ishiguro

I chose to review Booker prize award winning Kazuo Ishiguro author of the remains of the day and his latest never let me go which was adapted to film.  He has written several books which many of the endings seem to have something sweetly missing. This doesn’t apply that much to his Facebook page as it looks as he pulled out most of the stops. The page is very clean and minimalistic in style. He doesn’t have a bunch of buy now links or massive advertising than the typical chain of Facebook ads on the right. The page includes multiple quotes about his novel “Never let me go” which at this point it is arguably the most popular thanks to the big screen.

He does not have any tour dates or current new releases which seem to be the most disheartening for such a talented writer. The readers on his page appear to interact well with among each other there.  It feels like he or his publisher should quest to be more interactive with his readers on his page. He has a variety of attractive professional pictures of himself almost to make him appear like a “thinking writer” along with the philosophical quotes about his books.

Since image is a big part of anything in the public spectrum even for writers his publicist on his page seems to market his image as intellectual. This is good for readers because many trust or even buy from a writer based on the image of them. This can be bias but they’ve tuned his image to look scholarly and it works. He has a series of opinion based posts that seem to affectionately dote on his writing which is good to likely help his audience grow to have a “base” of readers.    Another focus seems to stay with him is being a British writer since they seem to be wildly popular here in America.

 The users often discuss his multifaceted culture; it may be beneficial to him to post more about the places he lived etc. The reader could learn more about his culture and heritage gives the reader a good feel of the person who’s writing the book.   This is the main thing that is missing about his posts is that it is not personal enough as you feel you are interacting with a bunch of quotes and not a real person. No one wants to feel as if they are reading a robots work as that is what instruction manuals are for. Ever notice how authors with compelling backgrounds sell?   The same principle goes here it is a very simple and nice page but it lacks the updates and personalization to be considered an excellent page. The author writes beautifully it just doesn’t make sense the publisher not have a Facebook page for his reader which is frequently updated.    
 

http://www.facebook.com/KazuoIshiguro

Just a little poem

The clock strikes quarter past three

 And the writer secretly bleeds

Locked away craving the release

 She carves the muffled cries of her soul.

She pens the memories of the scars she will never show.

She writes the fantasies that shield her reality

Living in a world no one will ever know

Her beautiful years fade quickly

As she sits alone patiently waiting on the ghost.

Welcome to the Paranormal Express

This winter’s night is especially bitter so much that frost bites latch to fingertips

The shivering lowerclassmen step one by one moseying to the caboose of the train.

See the elite gentlemen decked in black zoot suits puffing the sweetness of their Cuban cigars.

They laugh heartily as the thick smoke fills the air pitying ashes on the feet of the poor.

The richest women sit prim and proper, heavily powdered faces sipping the finest tea.

Babies cradled in the arms of the elderly coo as the last whistle sounds

" Welcome we’ve been expecting you as my special guest of the "Paranormal Express "

Please relax as “Emanuel” the darkly cloaked apparition will show you your seats.

Be not afraid, he only punishes those that use forces of  white light  and water.

I'm Lola the smirking bodiless conductor, I’ll see that you are well taken care of.

 “All aboard Madams and Messieurs”

 With those last words  I spoke we powered along the beginning of the end.

I’m here to take you on a voyage of writing within the genre of the paranormal.

It can be a fascinating experience to seek the unknown rather in fantasy or in our own perception of reality.

Here you will find a variety of stories, information, thought provoking ideologies, and updates to my exciting life as an aspiring paranormal writer.